Why I'm Calling This Space 'Take What You Need'

A few thoughts on my new Substack adventure...

Honestly, I’ve been avoiding this first post. I know, I know…we all do it. It’s so very human, isn’t it? For at least a few years I’ve had a niggling sensation that I need a different modality to share my work publicly.

Though I’ve grown a vibrant community on Instagram, I’ve also experienced the template behind it as chaotic and at times working in opposition to the healing and integration that I’m aiming to resource people toward.

I could write a whole essay about just that, but even a few examples include the way SM companies often leverage our need for connection to keep us scrolling and addicted to garner another dopamine hit, and where we are actually the product being served up for consumption¹. In general though, most SM tends to increase our anxiety, depression, dysregulation, disconnection, and binary thinking.

A picture from a recent trip to Mackinac Island, MI (as it turns out, Michigan is a gorgeous place to live)

Plus, there are legions of others issues that have come up—such as the fact that Meta has reportedly pirated thousands of books in order to train their AI, including three of my own². All that to say, I’m not leaving Meta/Instagram, but it can be a complicated space that I think warrants caution.

I’ve thought about Substack for a longtime now (and this is not me saying it’s a perfect place), but I’ve wondered if perhaps this would be a venue I could step into a bit more. The truth is, like most things—this will be an experiment. I don’t have a fool proof plan on how I’ll proceed, but like many things in my writing career and life, sometimes I just have to begin.

Let’s Start Here

So, I suppose I’ll start here: I’m going to name my little digital space Take What You Need. If that sounds familiar, that would make sense—as I just recently released a contemplative coffee table book of the same name back in February (!) I originally started using the phrase “take what you need” back in 2020 alongside my mental health and faith posts as an attempt to translate a trauma informed lens to the way folks were interacting with my work on social media.

As someone who aims to work from a trauma informed and faith sensitive lens, it’s especially important to empower people to know that while I may offer a resource, I believe deeply that God designed each of our bodies with wisdom and the ability to discern. That means if something I write or share isn’t for you (including but not limited to around experiences of faith), I bless you as you choose to pass on it; that’s wisdom in action.

Just because someone, even someone we respect, shares a thought—it does not automatically mean it’s A) for us B) a good idea C) the right time for that idea.

Social media can produce a ton of opportunities for digital connection, but the reality is that it also flattens our humanity. There is no way to completely transfer the attunement needed in a personal interaction, such as in therapy, to a technological interaction.

So in the absence of actual presence, it becomes even more essential to offer the resources I have with open hands and a sincere invitation to engage the content to the extent that it feels helpful (if at all). I believe this kind of posture is a type of hospitality that we see from the Christian tradition and the God who is constantly setting tables for us—even as our heads are anointed in the presence of our enemies; even in the wilderness³.

Not only that, this open handed, empowering posture is essential for healing from trauma because it’s helps our body re-connect with our own God-given internal navigation system,⁴ it also healthfully allows us to differentiate from others around us. Particularly for those who are vulnerable to or are healing from abusive, controlling, and/or narcissistic systems—the wholehearted encouragement to honor the information of our bodies is quite subversive⁵.

I believe this posture can be both preventative and reparative around relational harm, coercive control, narcissistic abuse, betrayal trauma, psychological abuse, spiritual abuse/harm and more. The more we normalize supporting agency in places where it has been weaponized or stolen, the easier it will be to advocate when something is being used in a harmful way.

Plus, and I’m only saying this half jokingly, I’m not the Holy Spirit. This may seem obvious, but I have no interest in replacing the Divine in someone’s life. That is not my role. Instead, it’s my job to have the humility to honor both my limits and my gifts. When I recognize that my work is not for everyone, it allows me to live from this grounded perspective.

Which brings me back to why I’m naming this space Take What You Need. Dear readers, I hope you feel empowered to listen to your body, that you can honor the wisdom embedded inside you, and that it allows you to participate with the Spirit of God as you engage what’s supportive for you⁶.

I shared this in February not long after “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days” released.

At times I will be sharing resources, meditations, prayers, and personal narrative. And in that process I will bring both my expertise as a clinician of almost twenty years, but also my lived experience of healing from complex PTSD, spiritual abuse, and more. If for any reason it’s not your jam to hear some of the messiness of a therapist’s life⁷, it’s okay to opt out at any time. I plan to honor my own humanity in this space, in the same spirit that I hope to honor yours (and hope you’ll do what you can to honor your humanity, too). But, it is profoundly important to know that you can engage with what I offer to the extent that it feels helpful and please, go ahead and leave the rest.

I encourage you to do that.

I bless you in doing that.

I believe this is part of what it means to healthfully move toward a mature personhood. Knowing what’s ours and setting down what’s not.

A Few Housekeeping Items

Finally, If you’re receiving this via email, it means you’re already on my subscriber list. First, I’m so glad you’re here. But, if for any reason you’d like to unsubscribe you can do that at any time. If you’ve subscribed and you’re not receiving this in your inbox, you may need to check your spam folder.

Otherwise, I look forward to the journey ahead.

With deep hope,

Aundi

Need more resources & insight? Check out my best selling books:

Try Softer (Over 150,000 sold)

Try Softer Guided Journey

Strong like Water

Strong like Water Guided Journey

Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days

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*A gentle reminder that this space is not meant to substitute medical or psychiatric individualized advice. If you are having a mental health emergency, please call or text 988 or go to your local emergency room.

1. For more on this, consider checking out “Stolen Focus” by Johann Hari.

2. https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2025/03/libgen-meta-openai/682093/

3. A few nods to Psalm 23 and Psalm 78

4. This ability to feel our sensations internally is called “interoception” and you can read more about it in “Try Softer” on page 153.

5. I mean that in the best possible way.

6. As an aside, there is certainly room to discuss the difference between when something feels harmful vs. uncomfortable. My hope with “Take What You Need” is that it will help you to continue to discern that line for you so that you are better able to lean into discomfort but set boundaries with harm.

7. It’s important to note that how I show up in my clinical work is pointedly different in that it is not a time for me to about my life as both a person and a therapist unless it is specifically beneficial to my clients. (As a sidenote: if your therapist uses your therapy time to mostly talk about themselves—that’s actually unethical and it’s okay to say something or find a new therapist)